I know this might be a rant so just letting whoever is reading.. be warned:
I’m really sick and tired of the people that I know online. Like, I’m starting to realize I need to do something with my life because they just are the fucking worst. Very few of them I respect and appreciate their company and friendship, but the rest is just fucking terrible. I don’t know what it is that makes me think this but I have a feeling it’s just because I sit online all day with nothing better to do than reddit and game. I want to go out and meet people, but because I’ve been sheltered for so long,
I don’t even know where to start. I mean the first place I can start is by getting a job and I should have no problem doing that. It’s just that I’m so fucking lazy and been in this funk for so long I really don’t know what will get me out of it. I also keep telling myself to go out on a bike ride or two, and lift some fucking weights but I never do. Although I will admit that I have been watching what I eat and eating a little bit more healthy, but I need more healthy foods to eat, need to expand my tastes.
I recently started talking to someone through a dating site, but I feel that I’m getting my hopes up and anticipating way too much because it’s been a while since I met someone that I find pretty genuine.
I also hate being ignored. It’s the worst feeling ever in the world. And I’m sure the people I’m talking about will say “Oh well you never text me/message me/talk to me” like it’s always my fucking responsibility. Maybe sometimes I would like to be wanted in some way. Or they might say “Oh why do you always make it my fault.” And my answer to that is fuck if it’s my fault. I honestly don’t do anything to have a fault in anything in the world except my own problems.
Maybe it’s this sour attitude I have at life that I’ve grown to hate most of the people that I know. Like I owe them something. What do I owe you? Absolutely nothing. WAR, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABOLUTELY NOTHING.
And I guess another thing that bugs me too is like my ex is finally over me, don’t get me wrong, it’s great and all but I was hoping that grace period that she did, it would have reverted back to the friendship but I guess that’s gone too. So fuckle to that. She’s doing good with her life, I don’t think I need to plague it in anyway with my irresponsibility and my half assed mediocre lifestyle. Pretty proud of her accomplishments though. (If you think about messaging me, don’t. Keep it up with what you’re doing)
Anyways, If you do read this, just know that if you feel that I am wrong in anyway possible, fucking say it. And I don’t mean go anonymously and say it. Your words mean a lot to me, and it’s always nice to hear everyone’s opinions regardless if it’s positive or negative.